Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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