OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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