She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
