She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
