I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
