ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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