Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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