I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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