4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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