She announced her abortion via fbk
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
