I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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