Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
