You're completely useless in the revolution.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
