He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
