just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
