For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
