Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
