Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize