They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
