U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
