whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Every concussion has its silver lining
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
