Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
