do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just gift wrapped bread.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Randomize
