please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
