Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
