I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
