I got chris browned last night
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
