i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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