youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
