So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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