Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
