Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
