you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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