I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
