It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
