just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My vagina just recognized that song.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
