When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Text me some of your sweat
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
