never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
