Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
