so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
