and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
