Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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