dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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