my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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