Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
