just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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