I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
