make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
