no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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