should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
