I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
