Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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