i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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